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MY LIFELONG AMBITION:
TO BECOME A CHILD PRODIGY
by D. Von Neumann
Interview with the Greatest Guitarist in the World
Audio version of the short story:
The Grand Piano of Life
ON SALE NOW!
For more information contact:
Daniel James Aguirre
agar.dan@gmail.com
Home: 0034 952 523 637
Mobile: 0034 615 914 904
WHAT THE CRITICS SAY:
“Von Neumann is new clear powered, I really get a charge out of him.”
Ralph Nadal, Tennis star
“It’s the Ark of the Covenant, you can cross the desert with it if your
Mercedes breaks down.” Moses Schwartz, Long Island, New York
“This is The Last Crusade!” Harrison Ford
“If I were alive today, I would have written this book.”
Jack Kerouac, author of On The Road
“If I were alive today, I would have read it.”
Ken Kesey, author of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest
“It made me feel like falling in love all over again.”
Elizabeth Taylor, alimony expert
“He made me feel like I was there!”
William Shakespeare, author of Romeo and Juliet
“If everyone would sit down and read this the war would stop.”
John Lennon
“I won’t go near it!” Stephen King
“I didn’t know who I really was until I bought this book.”
Book buyer, California
“I’m glad he’s taking over, I’m tired of this solar system.”
God, author of The Bible
“It’s the ultimate answer to life on Earth and why we do the things we do
and why she says the things she says and whether it’s really possible at
all.” Douglas Adams, author of A Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy
“I’m speechless, he never let me read it.”
Barbara Walters, spokesperson for the ABC News
“Within a day of purchasing it, I decided to quit quitting things forever.” Franciscan Monk
“An important work if true.” Stephen Hawking
“I’d like to see more from this author.” Gèke de Vries
“I’m glad he does these things, otherwise I couldn’t do what I do.” D.B.
“I hope I’ll be able to read it one day, but it’s not available in our
language yet.” Lara, Mallorca
“A truly objective work, it affects you the same whether you read it or
not.” George I. Gurdjieff
“It made me believe in windmills all over again!” Don Quixote
“He dreamt the impossible dream!” Zorba the Greek
“A masterpiece!” Rembrandt
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Description:
The previous, on this website, Philosopher’s Stone pages are just a part of 1 chapter in the 1st book which itself contains 64 chapters, as does the 2nd.
The personal and literary parts were left out because at the time of putting these pages online the idea was that ‘computer mentality and technology were the rage’.
Excerpt:
To give a more balanced view of these books as a whole, here are some exemplary chapters.
THERE WERE TEN MEN OUT
IN THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH
AND . . .
It was a gray and overcast day, the wind was howling, as the bum stumbled along the beach, seemingly on his last legs.
It was late in the year, a day the word ‘beach’ hadn’t any right to exist.
Stumbling along, he came across a waste basket, and seeing a bit of food to eat, he stuck his walking stick in to sift it out.
It was the end of an old hot dog-stuck to a piece of newspaper.
Peeling off the paper he swallowed it in one bite . . . but then noticed something strange standing out . . . or highlighted on the newspaper . . . by the red-brown juice of the hot dog.
It was a scrap of paper from the classified ad section and on it there was an advertisement that read:
Those interested should apply at 1026 Mountainview Road
between 9 and 5 Monday thru Friday.
The old bum couldn’t believe what he was seeing: his name or number hadn’t been called for a long time . . .
It didn’t really matter what it said. His greatest hope was a bit of warmth, a bowl of soup, a place to doze off, and shelter from the storm.
Stumbling up to 1026 Mountainview Road he knocked on the door, which was opened by a handsome man in a suit, who had the look of overall good health acquired by work outdoors.
The man smiled at him with a look of personal satisfaction at what he saw.
The old vagabond was just about to collapse at the mere feeling of the house’s warmth - when the man’s assistants came to his aid propping him up and helping him in.
He was laid in a hospital type bed, as the assistants were busy everywhere around him flipping on switches and hooking up cords. There were technical apparatuses he’d never seen before as they looked as if they were from other planets. Lights were being lit, wheels began to turn –
Somewhere in the tired exhausted depth of his being a drop of adrenalin sprang loose and found its way up his legs - through his stomach - to his chest - his throat - he spoke:
"I know I haven’t the right to ask for anything as I’m already dead but can I just ask you one thing?"
The man nodded his consent.
"Has there ever been any success before with these rejuvenation experiments?"
"Yes" the man said. "I was the last one they tried them on."
At this the bum passed out, he slept and he dreamt, he dreamt he was awake, when he awoke his dreams came true.
THE NEW
At the time of Woodstock, there were many great artists and musicians performing around the world, and somehow somewhere a pact was signed that: the rock stars and artists would never grow up and never stop rockin’.
No one was allowed to quit, get older, or die no matter what, as there was an oath signed and taken to this effect. Even when some of the rock stars reportedly died, many people said they never did and that they’re alive and well till this very day . . . somewhere.
(Joan Baez)
Somewhere somehow a pact of eternal youth and that of being eternal children was made: a pact to never grow up, never die, and never give up on The Dream.
The Dream of the Pied Piper with his magic flute who none can resist, as his name is pleasure and the greatest pleasure is - forever.
The Dream of Peter Pan, of Pan: God of Fertility, God of Pleasure, God of Joy.
Who made the promise to The Woodstock Children that this dream was attainable and how was this message delivered?
It was made by and delivered through the musicians and rock stars telling us that:
If at the normal age of maturity, growing up, and getting a job, one becomes a musician and/or an artist as a vocation, then he or she will be able to stay eternally young and never grow up.
The promise was also made by and through L.S.D. with its ‘purity contract’ telling those who took it: Never lie - and just like Pinocchio - your nose won’t grow any longer because of lack of good sense and natural instinct - and you won’t get any older either.
TO NEVER GROW UP
There was a café I used to go to in Granada called the Pilar del Toro, with nice marble tables in it to sit at - which overlooked a luxurious indoor patio with leafy palms, exotic plants, and traveling vines growing in, around, and through it, with a cascading fountain in its center which people sat around chatting, drinking, smoking, discussing things, and more . . .
Upstairs and around this patio various artisans had their shops. There were guitar makers', sculptors', and painters' studios there, which gave the whole building a kind of Renaissance air, and often the artisans would come into the café with paint, plaster, and wood dust all over their clothes, naming and advertising their trades.
I was in the habit of going there at night - after first going up to the Alhambra Castle woods and sitting with my back against a tree and smoking some hash.
Then I’d stride into the café at a heightened frequency with my notebook in my shoulder bag, order a coffee, and tune in to whatever was up.
My girl Deliana was a great psychic medium, a real communicative Gemini, and often we’d ask questions of higher beings, take notes, and study there.
In Spain when you pay your tab at a café or a restaurant you say: “Dáme la cuenta” or “La cuenta por favor” and one night there at the Pilar del Toro while talking to a certain higher being I said: “Alright, dáme la cuenta! Give me the bill, the tab, the check for life, the whole package, I’ll pay for it.”
At which point Deliana started writing down my bill on paper: "2000 light units of peace, 1500 units of love, 3000 units of health, 5000 light units of etc., etc., etc."
The list came to a full page in a small notebook of all the things that I owed and had to pay back - to become the proud and eternal owner of my own life, the universe, and everything.
“That’s it!” I decided that night. I’d had a test drive, I was impressed, I’ll take it all!
"Dáme la cuenta!"
The thing that I thought was incredible was that one could pay . . .
Part of the contract I signed to never grow up comprised of a complete conscious recapitulation of my life, that if done first before the actual life review and purification at the moment of death would assure that I'd never have to do it then and there'd be no moment of death for me, as I'd prevented it by doing it already.
Recapitulating and doing a total “life review” is what ‘happens’ to everybody at the moment of death: their lives are reviewed and judged impartially and objectively as they’re purified of all the dross of a lifetime so that what, if anything, that’s real, pure, and everlasting, may be separated from the ephemeral and continue on.
The purpose of recapitulating intentionally and consciously is to ‘do it in advance’, ‘die before you die’, ‘tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth’ now and be purified of all else, so that death isn’t necessary anymore, because then one doesn’t live a dualistic life any longer with one side being: a life of ignorance with a ‘we can never know’ attitude and the other side being: death - when the truth is known and everything is revealed, yet nothing can be done about it.
Since one is whole, he doesn’t need the duality of life and death anymore, he doesn’t need to split up the whole of creation this way, nor is he himself split up and divided, and then there is no ‘other life’ to live, no ‘other place’ to go, and he is here - now - in the present - outside space and time - and because time doesn’t run for him - entropy doesn’t ensue.
. . . There was some humor in all this, and after hearing what a certain higher being said I owed and must pay back dead or alive, and having it all written down for me in a little notebook, in a moment’s pause I asked whether there was anyone who owed me anything?
“Another car . . ."
"Some other things . . ."
At least I wasn’t the only one in the world in debt.
. . . In the year 2000 at the high point of summer I was working on The Philosopher's Stone chapter and getting it ready for publication. There was a supportive air all around me: the Internet cafés were the ‘Harvards and Yales’ and places of budding and fruitful intelligence in this town and my writing was hot!
One Dog Day afternoon I was listening to the prelude to “The 11” song by the Grateful Dead turned up pretty high on the large loud speakers I had in my guitar shop:
and/or it may require a change that hasn't come before♫
Then I heard these words put to me:
♫Wonder who will water all the children of the Garden when they sigh about the barren lack of rain and droop so hungry 'neath the sky?♫
What’d they say? . .
Who’ll make the desert bloom? . . Who has a cup to share? . Who’ll be the Water Bearer for the Age of Aquarius? . . Who'll carry on for us when we’re gone? . .
"I will!" I said.
And now, 11 years later, I'm ready to go:
The New Age®
For The First Time Ever In The Earth’s History It Will Be Now Possible
For Man To Live Here And Maintain His Body Without Dying.
Up until now this has been only possible for a very limited few, and these few are the leaders of this new age, and they will do everything they can now to make knowledge of physical immortality known to man.
THIS IS THE NEW WORLD and it’s never really been inhabited before.
The ribbon's being cut on this beautiful planet right now, and it's being opened to all.
All are welcome. Come one, come all, come down from the telescopes on your roofs.
Eureka! I found it. It’s HERE.
This is Woodstock II, the real thing, not the dress rehearsal.
The peace and love part was and still is a big point of it, the earthiness and communes too, but the biggest point of it and the trump card hasn’t been played till now.
And we’re all gonna hold hands and play guitars and sing around campfires and sleep out in tents and kiss each other in the woods at night on this planet now and LIVE HERE and that’s an order!
And we’re not going to Mars, and we’re not going to blow the planet up, and the world’s not going to end, not in 2012 or never, no matter how many ancient prophesies people dig up to prove that the end is nigh.
The world’s not going to be destroyed by a nuclear holocaust either. Got it?
Why?
Because I worked too hard to live here forever - and I ain’t gonna let any God-damn bonzos mess up my plan!
We will all be human: either with our boots on or in a wooden box, humans or humus, it’s our choice, the price is the same, dead or alive.
That's everyone's unavoidable fate: to be human, and some people's compasses may be off.
How would it be if people imagined that they could live here without dying?
How would it be if people knew that some do?
And now, some words from our past president, who’s been in office for the last 500 years; Ponce de Leon, a survivor of the Conquest Era, a little known fact known in some circles and in some spheres, who’s been president of the U.S.A. and The Land of the Free since the very beginning, being Governor of Puerto Rico first, then later moving up to the heights.
Just as The Grateful Dead gave out L.S.D. at their concerts to enlighten the world with, Ponce de Leon would also like to make his contribution, his joint contribution together with me to the world.
These are his own words:
“I’m the last survivor of an ancient race that once lived on this Earth, everyone else has died but me.”
“What’ll I do now, I’ve never been here before, I’m starting all over again? . .”
“All the other explorers sought dominance over foreign lands and their people too.”
“They ached for expansion and thought that killing was necessary as a means to this aim.”
“I didn’t.”
“I had more important things to do than murder people and live on their blood.”
“I had no taste for it at all.”
“I split off with my group: I was amongst Columbus’s men.”
“A first mate in fact, but he had his Queen to please, Queen Isabella in fact, and I had no one at all.”
“Maybe that was why I opted out of it all . . . No one would pay me for death or destruction. No one would kiss me at the end or put garlands of flowers around my neck, but there were some girls in Bimini at the time . . . who did.”
“We didn’t speak each other’s language at all, but it didn’t matter, it was Spring and we both wanted to live.”
“My wife still lives on, I gave her the elixir of life, which I found though it is reported otherwise.”
“Here it is; I wouldn’t mind if a few more people lived on this planet, it would be a friendlier planet then after all.”